Welcome to the Energetic Radio podcast. This episode is brought to you by

the school of play dotco, hosted by Dale Sibonham and Paul

Campbell. Each week, we'll bring to you tips, strategies, and ideas on

how you can bring more joy and happiness into your life and those you share

with. Alright. Hello, listeners, ladies

and gentlemen, everyone out there. My name is Paul Campbell. I'm joined by the one

and only, Dale Sibottom. We are from the School of Play, and this is energetic

radio episode 336. 336, baby.

336. We our last few episodes have started with an awesome staff, but we are

I know. We don't have one for 336. Underselling awesome.

I suppose if you think they're awesome, I enjoy them. Hey, mate. 1st December, Christmas

trees coming up. So in other words, 336 is 2nd December.

Christmas trees went up for a night and everybody's happy and and and healthy. Right?

So Very good, mate. We are continuing on. This

is this is, the 3rd episode of the best of you

series. Obviously, we've gone through episode 1 was mindfulness and gratitude. Episode

2 was all about relationships and connections. And on this 3rd

episode, we're gonna focus on the importance of play, you

know, play learning, creativity, self discovery,

and just giving some time to yourself. Oh. Alright. Stop it. Give us to time

yourself to have a bit of fun. You know what I mean? We're all about

fun. I reckon this whole episode is coming

down to boredom. I'm gonna bring it all back to boredom because

think about it, and I want people to listen. I'm not gonna take you on

a meditation here because my voice sounds like a rusty chainsaw. But think

about the last time you allowed yourself to be bored, and you never will

because the moment, the second that you're not engaged or someone's

not talking to you, you get a spare second, you grab your phone out. Mhmm.

You know, you just have to look, and I'm always always take notice when I'm

out at a cafe or, out for lunch or something like that. And the moment

someone goes to the toilet, the first second, that person that

is sitting at the tailor grab their phone. Same on public transport, same

anywhere if somebody is not engaged. And particularly, we talk

about teenagers and kids being bad. We're just as bad adults. Oh, yeah. So I

want you to think about it. When was the last time that you were actually

bored? That you allowed your mind to

drift. Mhmm. Because without boredom, there is no creativity. Yeah. You know,

and without boredom, we we really struggle to play. Yep. You know, and that's

where I know you're gonna talk about a lot of, like, making up games and

things like that. So that art's gone. Yeah. Because it's that there's no boredom that

allows it to occur. Hold on. One of the best things we've done as a

society is ban phones in schools. Yep. Right? Because you we'd walk out of a

classroom, you just walk past groups of kids and be 20 of them sitting next

to each other all on their phones. This is, you know, 3, 4 years ago

whenever it was. Horrendous sight. But adults are the exact

same. Like We're worse. Yeah. We go on our lunch break. You know what I

mean? Everyone's just hitting their phone. Just give me time to myself. I just wanna

be stuck with my head in the phone and doom scrolling through there. You're

right. Public transport, etcetera, etcetera, out at picnics, whatever it might be. And you can

really tell the strong families or the strong friendship groups that have got

amazing connections because they don't. You know what I mean? They're out at restaurants or

dinners or at the park, and they're not on their phones. They're actually sitting there

having a conversation with each other and having a laugh. Yep. And it's so awesome

to see, isn't it? You know, going back a few episodes, you know, stop and

smell the roses. There are lots of roses that I smell is when you see

families and friends actually phones away connecting with each other. And

there's some organizations out there that are all over it now. You know what I

mean? I know my wife's, company, Achuba, shout it to them. Great organization.

They have a no phone policy. You know what I mean? They've got a no

phone policy when they have their meetings. I mean, they've got their conferences and they're

dealing with adults. Right? But they're literally telling a group of adults, hey,

no phones, no phones at breakfast, no phones at lunch, whatever it is, and it

forced them to connect and they love it. You know what I mean? So why

do we need why do we need a policy like that to bring it in?

So No. Actually, sorry. We do need that policy because without

it, we revert back to what's safe and comfortable. Yep. And that's where

we feel safe when we're in our own head scrolling. Yeah. Now

because you are safe. You don't feel uncomfortable because you're doing something

Yep. But you're not doing anything of purpose. No. That's true. And you can do

it next to somebody and feel like you don't have to talk to them. Whereas,

previously, if you just both sit there, you finally feel awkward. I I

feel awkward. Hey. How you going? Yeah. Oh, I scared that person. Sorry. Oh,

sorry. You're scrolling there. Is that really important? Let's have a chat. Yeah. But I

think without being intentional about that, saying no. No phones.

I've heard of, you know, some parents, like, when the kids come

over playdates or whatever, everybody just puts their phone in a basket. Yeah. And I'm

like, that's brilliant. Awesome. Like, you take away the need to have it

or oh, this person's contacting me or what are we doing now? I need to

share it with the world that no one cares, but I think it's the most

important thing I'm ever gonna do. Just be bloody present. Yeah. You know, and that's

where then you can be creative. Yep. You know, we talk about fun.

It's a superpower. You just gotta look at all the things that are

being created in the world, all the jobs that are coming out. They're not

traditional 9 to 5 jobs that, you know, particularly we might have

been when we're going through high school, oh, what are you gonna be? You know,

now people can be whatever they want because they can create it in a second.

Yep. Yeah. But you can't do any of that without the the

actual element of play and allowing you space between ears to come

up with something. Yep. And very powerful. We're we're we're talking to hear about being

the best version of yourself. Right? And please guys, please, please,

please. You've got to make time for you and you, you know what I

mean? You've got to make sure you are finding some time in your week, in

your month, whatever it might be to do something that you enjoy doing.

And you know, it might be for me, I'll have to share it. Like, I

love me golf. I love playing footy. You do. And he does hit them very

well. I hit them okay. Yeah. It hits them very well. You know what I

mean? I love I love building magnet tiles with my kids. I now love

drawing with my kids a little bit too, you know, you can be creative. What's

your go to drawing? Oh, I think I'm pretty handy at drawing trees and cars.

I've seen anybody I've seen anybody I've seen anybody I've seen anybody I've seen anybody

of mine. I'm average at it to be honest with you. I've got a couple

here you go. Yeah. But the kids feel as though they're more somatic because they

look at my drawings compared to theirs and it's epic. Oh, that is a good

drawing, Dale. This is, Halloween. I went to a Steiner school and do

you know what a Steiner school? I do. Yes. Yeah. So this was my report.

Obviously, people can't see it, but we had to color it in. It is All

handwritten. Let me tell you, it is very colorful, and Dale's

drawing shits our mind. No. So all I can draw is a

sun, a a house, and a path. Yeah. But it is it's very

artistic, let me tell you. No. We're not competing. No. There really is. Paul beats

me golf all the time. But no. Yeah. But, you know, just

the importance of, yeah, finding something that's fun for you. And it might

be tinkering in the garage. You know, play doesn't need to be playing a sport,

and might be picking up a musical instrument. Something that I long to be able

to do. And one of my biggest regrets in life is not learning the instrument.

Because I reckon, you know, I told you about boredom before. I don't reckon you'd

ever get bored if you just could go and pick up an instrument and start

cramming something. You're right. Yeah. You know, and practice some stuff and

get better. So play doesn't have to be sport. It can be, you know, puzzles,

jigsaws, Lego, you know, online gaming within within

reason is also healthy. I get that. That's not too bad. It's your it's your

outlet. It's just switch off from life. And generally speaking, you connect with people online.

So I don't mind that, but it's gotta be within, you know, time constraints.

But it could be, yeah, tinkering in the garage, creating some artwork, doing your gardening,

whatever it is to you that is play, just make sure you're finding some time

for you. And one thing that, I mean, you obviously grinds my

gears. Our last episode was all about relationships, right?

And connections and the importance of them. One thing that grinds my gears is when

people getting those relationships and they get connected and

they lose their sense of self, They literally throw the they

almost sacrifice themselves, for the good of their family. And yes,

it's noble. I get that, but it's not needed. It's not healthy

and it's not needed. Like, if you're in a really good healthy relationship,

that looks like this. You know what I mean? We yes. We do 90%

of things together and we support each other, but each partner or the spouse has

to go, you know what? Get out of the house. Get out of here. Go

do something for yourself. I've got the house sorted for the night or the day,

whatever it is. Go and do something for you because then you're giving to yourself.

You've live in your passions and then you come back to us as a happier,

healthier human being. But I think a lot of people, and I've got some friends

out there and if you're listening, you probably know who you are that have sacrificed

yourself a little bit and it's never too late. Turn it around. Yep. Yeah. Find

something for yourself again and and go and get creative and

play and find some time for you. That's not your

career and not your family. I know it sounds horrible, but Oh, and I think

that too as well, that having young kids, which we both

do, I've found that I'm doing a lot more playing than I ever have

before, which is great, but the key with that is you've gotta be

present. Yeah. I reckon a lot of time early days, I was, like, my mind

wasn't there, but I was trying to play. And I'm, like, whatever you're thinking about

that work, that email, you're trying to check something, it can wait. Yeah. You think

it can't, but I don't know. Now I'm just, like, you that if you just

give 20 minutes of being present, that's better than an of an hour where

you're nowhere. Yep. You know, you may be there, but you're not actually there. And

kids, mate, they're sponges. They know that they don't have your

full attention. Mhmm. Like, and you end up getting angry at them because they keep

annoying you. Well, they're annoying you, and I'm I I 100%

acknowledge this now. They're ignore they're getting

into me because I'm not fully present. Yeah. So what's the point of

even doing it? You know, they're probably better off playing by themselves because I'm giving

them nothing. I'm giving them half of myself and trying to do everything else.

So, yeah. So important to do things for yourself, but also so

important when you do something with either a friend, a partner, your kids, or anyone

else to actually do it properly. Don't do it bloody half hearted. Yep. You know,

and that's I I still hate when you have a meeting or you go out

or something and someone puts their phone on the table. Fuck your phone off.

Like, it it doesn't need to be on the table. Yeah. Like, get rid of

it. Like, and if it rings, let it go. Yep. You know, you don't

always have to answer it. What did they do back in the day when you

didn't have a phone on you? Like Survived. Oh, you did, didn't you? Oh, wow.

Imagine that. People will be fine. Yeah. You know, so And going back to what

you're saying before playing with your kids, the research shows the sweet spot is 20

minutes. So you don't have to play for an hour. I can't, put my hand

up as well, you know. It's can be laborous right at times getting yourself in

their level and That's 20 good minutes. It's good. But tell me, if you give

them 20 minutes, it means the world to them. It brightens

up their life incredibly and your bond gets stronger, but it's only 20 minutes. But,

yeah, you've gotta leave your phone on the kitchen bench and you've got to get

yourself, allow yourself to drop to their level and be a big kid again for

20 minutes. Doesn't matter how silly it is. I have done, you gotta be whatever

it is, but yeah, find it. And it's hard sometimes some of the games that

my kids wanna play, I get bored off after 10. I'll be honest with you.

But I think I'm getting heaps better at going, you know what? They

deserve that 20 minutes half hour of my time, and they like it. They like

it. They like it. Yeah. And don't just play the games as well. I don't

play the games as they wanna get they wanna play. Right? Can't just be spoiled

all the time, Paul. You gotta do he's not trying to make Might have to

get in the cubby. So cool. I'll drink my cup of tea and coffee that's

not a cup of tea, but, yeah. I agree. Like and you think it's a

long period of time, but it's not. Nah. It's not. 20 minutes is nothing. And

we and we always say I think there because there's a common theme in a

lot of our pods, right, that as we age we get worse at doing certain

things. Very true, mate. So true. I think back to

I look at my my son Hunter and the games when I say, how's that

school? We played this game. We created that. They create games like no tomorrow.

I remember living with my mates at uni, you know, shout out to the boys

from King Castle. We would create games

using a real leather Sharon in the house. Right. And we'd have competitions

against each other. We'd have stats on the fridge of which, which pair had the

most kicks back and forth. I apologize to our landlord at the time

because our ceiling was literally red and coated in because

little cherries off the Sharon that was into the roof. And,

yeah, that's early twenties. And we had a ball snowboarding down the stairs doing all

sorts of dumb stuff, but it was play with each other. Yeah. Right? And phones

weren't as apparent 20 years ago when we're doing Probably better to be a landlord

now than what it was back then. Yeah. Probably. They're not gonna go through they're

not gonna snowboard down down to the stupid phone. They're

probably playing Sean White snowboard on their phone. Yeah. You're probably right. You know what

I mean? So, I think as we age, we get, here, we get

worse at getting creative and and playing. You know what I mean? So we've gotta

find that again. So, you know, part of this message, this podcast is

stop yourself and go, when was the last time you played? And go and do

something you love. And if it's 9 holes of golf, go and play 9 holes

of golfers. Hit the dryer range, whatever it is. Tinker in the garage and building

something and getting creative, go and do it and be fully present with it. I

had to chat to you about Dude Perfect. Yes. Today. Look

him up. There's a there's a group of mates on on YouTube called Dude Perfect.

And, they're gonna an epic doco out 30 for 30 on

ESPN. It's about how they started. They're now worth $400,000,000 and got

60,000,000 subscribers, so they've gone huge. And they literally just did it through play.

Yeah. Like, 5 mates, 6 mates, creating games together, having a good time

And filming it. And filming it. This is one of the reasons that you chat

to young kids now, oh, what do you wanna be? I'm gonna be a YouTuber.

Yeah. No. You're not. Sorry. No. You might do. You might make it. But yeah.

You remember that's and that was so you watch how bloody connected they are and

how happy they are. And they're now pushing into their late thirties. They've been doing

it for 14, 15 years and still doing it. And they are when you see

the doco, you see how connected to how happy they are. And that's because they

never lost the art of play. That inner child was

never pushed away to be too serious or too busy. You know? And that's

the badges that I think a lot of adults were. Yeah.

Yeah. So I really like that. 100%. And so now let's let's connect the

dots. Right? So in our best of you series, you've talked about mindfulness, gratitude,

relationships, connections, and now play discovery, finding a bit for

yourself, getting, getting creative, you can link all them together. So if

you're sitting there at home and listening to see like, you know, I don't have

any mates that I can go and connect with that I've lost all those contacts

or I've got no one to go and let my creative juices

flow, Find them. Yeah. Do it by yourself. Do it

by yourself. But also you can find them because there are that many community

groups in every possible imaginable aspect of life and

creativity out there now that you can connect with you jump online and you type

in what you're into, you know, gardening clubs, whatever it might be, community gardens, art

and crafts, you know, and, you know, men's sheds. There's there's that

many out there that you can find and be brave, be

accountable for yourself. Go and put your hand up, take that first step, and

you're gonna meet like minded people. You're gonna get to do something for yourself and

express your your playness and and your creativity. And

all those first episodes are all coming together now. Right? And they're all

building a really great sense of self. And if you take those steps

and be brave and and be accountable for your mental health and well-being,

I guarantee you're gonna find way more happiness in your life, and you're gonna have

a bit of purpose, and you then you're gonna give yourself far better to others.

You're gonna be better at your job. You probably start exercising a little bit. It

all just flows from there. But, yeah, I I love that they've

they're all sort of, like, merging in now and and linking in with each other.

But, yeah, mate, I I think I don't think I'll ever lose it, and

my wife will say the same. I'm probably gonna stop being a big kid.

And and I love that. You know what I mean? But, yeah, some of my

fondest memories are are playing. You know what I mean? And getting creative and

and having some fun. And so find it. Whatever it is, get them and find

it. But what do you like to do? So I do what's your well, obviously,

at the moment, I'm in the trenches with a 3 and a 1 year old.

Yep. So, yeah, a lot of play with them.

Outside, rollerblade no. Not rollerblade skating, riding

bikes, kicking a ball, blowing bubbles, whatever it

is. Do you know what I mean? Like, I I feel that that's where my

real attention is at the moment. So Yeah. Do I do enough for myself? Probably

not at the moment. And I reflect on this the other day that that will

come back. Yeah. I just think at the moment, it's not about me,

but it's about me being present with my boys to

give them, like, the opportunity to enjoy play because

I know how important it is for developmental, particularly when they're

under 7. Those first 7 years of their life is where they

develop and they're like sponges. They take everything off you. So if I can just

be there and play with them, be present. And I know not everybody's in the

same position that we're both very fortunate that we can spend a lot of time

with our kids when we're not away talking and things like that. But as we

said, it doesn't have to be a huge amount of time, but it needs to

be quality time. So that's one thing that I'm really aware of now.

Yeah. But on a personal level, I I do like to try and have you

to golf. Yeah. One of those things that it just makes

you feel better. Yeah. And I think that's one of the the big things around

players that I know when I just go and play quick 9 holes that even

even I don't hit them that well, but that's not the point of it. Do

you know what I mean? That it's what it allows me to do and and

just sort of resets me. Yeah. It gives you that. But it's like that heat

of dopamine or energy from doing a workout or doing something good for yourself.

Some people say, like, it's that don't mean you're going going in cold water. Mhmm.

That's great. There's so many different options you can do. That's definitely not one for

me. I did it the other the other morning. Went down to, morty sea

divers. So they beautiful community, and there were people from all

different walks of life there. I was talking some of them, you know, there there's

people that are quite old, people quite young. There was kids there. There was

single people. There was couples. There was CEOs. Like How good is that? And

everybody just accepts everybody. It was beautiful. I did a bit of a talk for

them, and then they all said, are you coming in? I said, no way. I

gotta go. I hate the cold. Oh, I hate the cold. Hates the cold. Winter.

I'm not voluntarily going and standing in the water. But, yeah, they all just

went in there all dancing around and having fun, and, it's

yeah. That that's what I mean. There's And that's half an hour. Right? Yep. They

do that for half an hour. Am I am I correct? They literally get together

for half an hour, whatever it is. And that's they've that's them finding their balance.

And you're talking about golf. Like, we've tried to make it probably once a week.

We try to go for 9 holes of golf, which is an hour and a

half out of our time. Yep. It's not a lot in the in the scope

of a week. You think about the amount of hours in a week and we

spend an hour and a half on the golf course, but that's enough to feel

like cup, feel like we're getting a little bit of balance, give to ourselves a

little bit, and then we go back to our families and whatnot. The morning sea

dippers, half hour. They connect, whatever it is. So, you know, you guys are out

there play listening, and I hear we hear it all the time. I don't have

time. Yeah. Bloody make it. Yeah. That's You know what I mean? And That's

bloody make it. You have to make it. 100%. If your partner's out there,

you know, a little bit miserable, whatever it is, then be the catalyst and you'd

be the one that pushes them out the door and go, oh, I've got this.

Go. You know what I mean? And give them the licence to go and do

it. Because I think sometimes and I'm gonna be honest with you. I think it's

sometimes more men that need that license Alright. From their partner to say,

okay. Oh, no. Not even. I I I feel guilty. Yeah. And I shouldn't. I'm

the one making that's me. Brie. Definitely. She said, oh, you don't

have to be here. Yeah. But I feel bad. Yeah. You know, I don't know

if that's because we go away a bit, so you sort of hear, but then

you're not, and you feel guilty and Yeah. I don't know. That's me personally

coming out. Something you've gotta let go. Right? Too. And I put on for I

find that really hard. Okay. And that's a noble thing to think. Right? That feel

guilty then. Also it's me telling myself stories, this

narrative in my head that only I'm thinking and nobody else is. And I'm sure

other people do similar. Yep. It's probably a nice thing I wanna be there for

my family, but at what cost is that for things that probably would make me

a better person? Mhmm. Yeah. I would sort of weigh that up a little bit.

Yeah. And these are just things that I'm telling myself. No one else is freezed

on having these conversations with me because she said, go and do it. You know?

But I it's the the stories we tell ourselves. Yeah. You know? So,

yeah, I I'm good at playing. I can do all these things. I tell people

how to be happy, but I still battle with different things myself, you know, that

you go through and you find things hard to do

because you don't feel it's the right thing for certain people. Yeah. But the other

cool thing is you've you've thought about it. You've processed it. About it all the

time. Yeah. It doesn't make it easy, though. No. It doesn't. But at least you've

you've you're now accountable. Right? And you've put you've thought about it and you've processed

and you go, okay. This is something I need to work on. That's what this

is all about. Yeah. Correct. What we're talking about here and now and and getting

us out to listeners and I guess, for me, part of these pods is is

about planting a seed in people's minds and and for them to going, you know,

holy shit. You know, maybe they're right. Maybe I need to just think

about the balance I've gotten, how much I'm giving to myself, and how also, how

am I as a partner to my spouse? Am I allowing her or them or

he to, you know, to be the best version of themselves? You know, do I

need to be a little less selfish and and push them out the door a

little bit more? You know, so it goes both ways with our listeners here. You

might be one side or the other, or you might be both. But definitely,

you know, if you're listening to this, our tip for this one is is have

it a reflection on the balance you've got. When was the last time you played?

What do you do for yourself that, you know, that gives you that balance and

gives you a little outlet? And if it's not much, get it into your life

one little bit of a time. You know, find half an hour first,

find 20 minutes for the kids, whatever it is, But just start small,

incremental, and then build it up from there. But we can't

begin to explain the importance of play. Mhmm.

Everything develops through play. Our emotions, our happiness, you know

Building resilience, how to win and lose, build relationships, connections,

that is how we develop everything. And you've just gotta look at Scandinavia.

Why are they the happiest, healthiest people in the world, most successful?

Because in school, they don't start any traditional learning till they're 8 or 9. That's

epic. And it's just all play. It's not just nap plan stuff. Yeah. It is

simply just play, discovery, self discovery,

learning all these different things, and there's no objective. That's the best thing about place.

It's not about, can you read or write? They can obviously read and write because

they're they've got the best off the charts. Off the charts. You're in Finland. Yeah.

You know, it's just where they are. I mean, it's insane. Yep. So just allow

like, it's not always about ratings and testing and scores.

Just have bloody fun. Just have bloody fun. And I think that, yeah, those

that that is so important at young age, but it's more important probably as

adults. We could go through a midlife crisis. Right? Too serious. Yeah. We go through

a middle we hear that term all the time on, Yeah. Midlife crisis. I've lost

myself. I've lost my sense of self. Well, then find it through

play. Yes. You know what I mean? And it doesn't matter what it is, but

just find something that makes your heart sing. Don't do a puzzle. 100%. Store a

house or a car. Is that what you've been doing? Yeah. Start tinkering. You know

what I mean? Go get go get a hobby. Like, find a hobby, because

you'll find yourself. Yeah, man. And you'll get yourself out of that rut and you'll

get yourself out of that midlife crisis and low and behold, you're gonna meet some

new meet some new people and friends along the way. And then we're connected, then

we're having a good time, and that's what life's all about. Love it. Best of

you, episode number 3. Thank you once again for listening, superstars.

One more to come in this series, which you're very excited would live in next

week. And then, yeah, we'll see where the pod goes. But, yeah,

we appreciate all the nice messages and feedback. Yeah. Yeah. It's been awesome. Honestly,

thanks, guys. We really enjoyed doing it as well. So there probably if there is

a topic or something you'd like us to talk about or particularly around, you know,

the the well-being element and particularly how you can do it in a sort of

active way through play like we talk about, let us know and we'll,

either figure it out or share what we know about it or what we've experienced

before and, hopefully, we can help everyone. So as always, Cambo, be

good or be good at it. Thanks, Dan. I appreciate it. Make your mission to

make someone else's day better. Adios.