Welcome to the Energetic Radio podcast. This episode is brought to you

by the school of play dot co, hosted by Dale Sibonham and

Paul Campbell. Each week, we'll bring to you tips, strategies, and ideas

on how you can bring more joy and happiness into your life and those you

share with. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back

to the Energetic Radio episode 361. I am

back in the bunker in our studio with the one and only Dal

Sidebottom. G'day, Sidey. How are you? Cambo. Good to be back, mate. It is good

to be back. It's been a hiatus. We did have a hiatus, didn't we?

And we didn't like having a hiatus, but it was a bit of a forced

one. We've, we've been incredibly busy. We've been gallivanting all

over this beautiful state of ours. And it was amazing how

many times you and I said never been on this road before. No. We were

so many new roads traveled. But, yeah, we just had an

amazing an amazing sort of post Easter, I

guess, period. Working with schools and organizations all over this

amazing state of ours right down from Mallacoota back all the way

up to Wodonga over the other side to East Loddon and

Bendigo, and it's been, there's been plenty of time spent together in the

car. And sometimes, Campe, you've just gotta know when to say no. This

is very true. And it might bring that up a little bit. You might. Before

we get onto that, obviously, in a month's time, our book,

three hundred and sixty five days of play, is going to be live.

Preorder now is available, globally. So, if you go

into Amazon, Booktopia, or Barnes and Noble, and just

search three hundred and sixty five days of play, by Dale

Sabinham and Paul Paul Campbell. You can preorder, and there are discounts

available at the moment. So Yeah. I know a lot of people,

particularly in New Zealand and through The US, were

looking to grab that. So I know, particularly in New Zealand, you'll be able to

get that on Amazon. And for The US people, Barnes and Noble will be the

one there. So we will have a link in the show notes,

361. So you can just directly click on that

for wherever you can pre order it. We'd love the support and Super exciting.

Very exciting, mate. I mean, you've been an author before. This is my first time

being a published author Yes. With the good old Amber Press.

And, yeah, I'm super excited. We've got our launch our launch at

Ballers Clubhouse. So shout out to Stephen Walls from the Ballers Clubhouse who also features

in the book. It does. That great venue definitely features in our book. I think

it's September off the top of my head, but don't forget to tell me on

that, but I think it's the September 2 at the top of my head. Very

good. And that's the ultimate play space. Right? So we can't wait to, to host

our our book launch there. And, we've got lots of friends and family coming along,

so it should be an awesome night out. It will be, mate. We haven't really

figured out what we're gonna do for that. You know, I think you might read

an expert for our book. Is that what's gonna happen? Are you gonna read? Well,

it'll be, also the book, The Playful Astronauts, a kid's

book that, Brad Smith and myself have been writing for four or five

years now after being derailed and getting scammed by a

publisher. It's finally, come through and the whole

emphasis is that's for younger families. And then the one that we have created together,

three hundred and sixty five days of play, is for the older families, which is

very exciting because we know the benefits of play.

But sometimes it's hard to know where to start. Or particularly, after a long

day at work, the last thing you wanna think about is coming home and thinking,

oh, what what will I do? Whereas this we've sort of done it for you

in a fun way. So That's it. And and as parents, you know, you you

can keep going back to the tried and tested, but if your kids also really

appreciate just something different, something new, a little bit of thought,

you know, plays the ultimate way to unlock creativity and get that mind

developing. And when you do new things with them, you just watch them

grow and develop so much quicker. So it is a one stop shop, nice and

quick, pick it up, get up with a new idea. You might flick to a

page and go, no one sucks. I'll get another one. That's completely fine, but there

are 365 ideas in there. So I'm sure you'll find a few

that resonate with you and your family and work for you. Yeah. We can't wait.

Oh, I'm actually excited about it because I'm that person I get home and I

can't think. You know, you've done it for eight or nine years now, and I

come home and I you just get you're numb. Like, you you're brain dead and

you're like, but I I wanna do something, but then nothing comes. Whereas when you're

intentional with doing work, we do it all the time. Yep. So I'm actually

really excited. And because we've both written it, we don't know

everything. You can't remember, obviously, 365 activities or

whatever, that'll be sort of exciting as well. So Oh, yeah. For sure. In a

selfish way, it's something creative for ourselves because we know we'll use it.

Normally, that's a true way to think about it. I'm bloody stoked

that your playful astronaut is finally coming out because you've you

first told me the picture of it years ago. Right? Right? A couple

years ago, and and my kids were then, what, they would have been three

and four and three and five and I was like perfect. Yeah. Great time. It's

perfect. And I'm like, mate, my kids are gonna be a vacation by the time

it gets to them. But, Well, I've got a $7,000 mug on

my desk there that's, that playtime mug

when I Is that what you got there? That's how much it cost to the

that scammer and obviously I was probably red flagged, but yeah I got a

contract in that mug so it's a oh sorry

$6,999 mug. Have you ever wanted to throw that

mug against the wall? No. It's a reminder. It's a reminder. Yeah. I'm I'm not

angry about it. It's just it's happened. Like, just move on, and, obviously, we found

a way now to get it done. And, yeah, I'm excited

to have that out there as well. Yeah. So No. I love it. That's that's

awesome. Mate, I wanna kick off with our with

our road trip experience Mhmm. Because we love reflecting, and every time we get in

the car, reflect on it. First question without notice for the for the for the

episode. What was what was something you learned from our road trip?

That Victoria, I know Australia is big, but Victoria is a very very big

place. Yeah. And probably learned to

look into future bookings a little bit better when

doing accommodation travel. Oh. There was

a few yeah. You're right. There was a few times we didn't match it properly.

And I just took your word for an hour. It's half an hour. No. It

was two hours. Now That sounds like you're blaming me. Hang on a minute. No.

I now will do a lot better at looking at things, and I've started

booking. Yeah. I blame my father-in-law. How far is Mallacoota? I've had an hour.

I remember, like, two hours in the car from where we're staying. Cheapest.

But, yes, I to that we we do live in a state that is absolutely

bloody massive, don't we? Beautiful too. Like, so I'd never been you obviously

holiday down in Marlow, and I'd never been anywhere near that far.

But, yeah, just it was really nice, lovely people.

Very busy weeks. That's one thing Yeah. That yeah. It's

tough when you're driving and you're talking from nine 9AM

till, you know, 05:00 most days. It's tough

going. But, you know, you're helping a lot of people that normally probably wouldn't

get these sessions because a lot of people, particularly presenters from big cities like

Melbourne or Sydney, they're not going they're not gonna drive seven hours to

Mallacoota. So what you find is people are really pressured even,

it makes you feel good for what you're able to do and that you aren't

just selective for metro areas. Yes. I love that. I learned that

there is a direct correlation between the types of shoes and socks

that teenagers have got on and how and how

friendly and how much gusto and how happy they are and how much

they just get stuck into activities. We found that we would

go out to the the far reaches of the state and and the rural

areas and they rock up in their bloodstones, their work boots, cowboy

boots even, you know what I mean? Those sorts of things, they're epic and they're

just such happy little vegemites and they soak up everything

you're putting out there and, they can't get enough and then you come a bit

close to the city and they start wearing globes and vans and your

nikes and, you know, your your your brand name socks and all those sort of

things. And that correlation between having gusto for life and

happiness and a desire to really wanna soak up everything you put down,

just sort of fades a little bit as that attire starts to come in.

So from now whenever I walk in a workshop, the last look, I know. I've

opened my shoes and socks. I'm not looking at these socks.

They got nice stance ones on there. Good luck to all. I love it. And

so whenever I see kids in Blundstone's and Kelvitz, I'm like, you Rupert, this is

gonna be a great session. Absolutely love it. Now I mentioned something earlier about the

power of saying no earlier. And I think everything in life, you need to get

a good lesson and things can't always be told. You need to,

like, learn and and experience it yourself. And I am

reminiscing on this because, a book I just got you called Essentialism,

which is essentially the power of saying no. I was given that book in,

02/2016, and I read the extract in the front. That was the first time I

went to Dubai to present. Jared, my friend and mentor, wrote a really nice thing

in there, and he said to me that the biggest thing you're gonna have issues

with is saying no. And it didn't really resonate with me and because

when you're starting out and like you were, you just say yes to everything, but

it ends up having a detrimental effect on you, your business, your brand

to a certain extent for certain ones. So anyway, I bought the

book for you, mate, because I did. Just recently, you said your first no for

something and it's funny. I did because I'm a like, I'm happy

to admit it. I'm a people pleaser. Yeah. But so is everyone, but that's Paramount's

not even one's a people pleaser. Some people are assholes. They're not we're not all

people pleasers, but I'm a people pleaser. And,

because I'm new to the business game, my whole mindset is like, let's keep

growing your brand awareness, get it there, and, you know, let's, let's be good

humans and work with them and those sort of things, but you're right. I hate

to freaking say it, but you're bloody right. And yeah. So back

picture, we had an organization who,

yeah, asked for a large discount on on our things and and it just wasn't

equitable and fair for the other organizations that we worked with. And, and

the society said, Paul, we need to say no to this one just because it's

not fair and and equitable. And I was like, that's fair enough. And we said,

no. And, lo and behold, the next day they got back in contact with us

and said, we want you in that badly. We found we found the extra money

on Saturday. I say say no now. Yeah. And I bet what will happen is

Yeah. And you ain't mad and Yeah. But and then and then at least now

our moral compass is also right because we were equitable to Well, that's the way

it's gotta be. So that's where it becomes detrimental to your brand when you start

just doing things that aren't fair for what you've done for others. Yeah. But also

now flip that into just life. The power of saying no. More people

need to better at it. Right? They do. They need better to say, nah. I

don't want an extra beer or no. I'm I'm I don't wanna drink tonight and,

you know, no. I'm not gonna go out tonight even though thanks to the invite

and I'd love to, but, you know, I'm gonna stay home and and and be

with the wife and kids, whatever it might be. And just the power of saying

no Yeah. Is definitely a hard thing for a lot of people to do, but

it's the right thing to do more. And it's a really good book, Essentialism. Yeah.

Yep. So signed a copy for you, mate. This is the, this is the second

book that you've, you've got me on to. The first one was The Go Giver.

Oh, yes. And The Go Giver stuck with me. I'll tell a lot of people

about The Go Brilliant. Timmy Arnold. Timmy Arnold. Was that Timmy Arnold? He was the

one that, we when we caught up the other day Yeah.

He the first time that he'd started free agency

teaching and I just started, energetic education, we caught up at thousand blessings in

Richmond. We hadn't seen each other from growing up in Shep. And,

not that all yeah. I probably I probably wasn't the nicest person all the time.

A little bit arrogant in things. And Timmy, in a really nice way, he said,

mate, I you get a lot from this book. So he

recommended to me. He actually gave me his, it was wasn't

audible, but it was some other audio book login so I could listen to it.

And I think I listened to it about six times just over over over. Yeah.

And that's where the whole emphasis of what we're sort of doing now

came from. The kindness element and being grateful and, you know,

particularly our daily peg. It came from that, like, never and this was a

big thing that resonated me. Never do something and keep score and expect

something in return. Yeah. Because I was always the one, like, I'd always go out

and buy dinner or whatever, and the next time left them, I wouldn't even enjoy

it because all I'm thinking about is they better get it because their turn, that's

not fair. And so that really resonated with me and it made me realize

that you just do nice things to be a nice person, never keep score.

And the world will look after you that way. Right? I took from the book.

And then then look after you. Yep. And, and also just give to

people, give them your time, give them your energy, mentor them,

because it will come back and prosper you eventually. And I've seen it felt at

first hand now the last twelve months in the business game. Dale gave me that

book, about six months before I jumped on board. And if

anyone's a leader out there of anything, we're all leaders, I guess, in our community,

but if anyone's a leader out there, great little book, 20 pages long. You can

read it really quickly over a couple of weeks. You can read it. You can

read it. But the message is in there. It's called the Go Giver, and it

makes us a beautiful little gift actually. Not as good as gift as what the

three hundred and sixty five days of play will be. That's a great little gift

to give out for our Christmas in July's people or whatever it is. But,

yeah, it's an epic little book, so go get that. But I wasn't expecting to

talk about the go giver today. No. But that's, yeah. So essentially, it's an

odd it's not as good as the go giver, but Mhmm. The message is

something really, really important. And that Yeah. That's not just saying no like you said

in business. That's saying no in life because the power of saying no

is so much more powerful than saying yes in the right context. Yeah. Anyway, I

got a lot out of it because I needed to hear that as well, and

there you go. I hope you enjoy it. I love it. We've

something popped up the other day in a workshop run. It was about, like

thought processes and thoughts and those sorts of things. And it was actually amazing timing

because just that morning I was listening to some bits and pieces and, a

psychologist said that we have between sixty and seventy thousand thoughts a

day. And I was like, holy shit. Do we really have 60 to 70,000 thoughts

a day? And if you sit back and think about it, like, you don't you

don't have a a heap. Right? You're not accountable. You're not accountable, but you

you're constantly mind is constantly thinking about anything.

Right? And then the question that was posed was, so what's your

balance like? What's your balance of your thoughts like? And I was like, oh, man,

that is good. I've never actually thought about it like that. And

it was about 09:00 in the morning when I when I heard that and I

listened to it and then I did a quick stock take. I was like, right,

how many thoughts was my balance like at the moment? And I was

I'll be honest. I'm not been there, but I was pleased to know that I

actually had a pretty healthy balance of positive thoughts and looking forward to

stuff and and thinking of that's awesome. That made me smile, that laugh and and

really harping on it to to negative or not worry or stress what I

gotta do today. So I was pretty stoked, but I know I was sitting there

going, I wonder what the normal what other

people are like. So here's my question I noticed for you. Right? It is now

01:00 in the afternoon. What's your balance

of thoughts like today, do you reckon, between positive,

healthy ones thoughts and worrying thoughts. I've got an

idea. I'm sorting that out there with No. No. I'd say mine have been, like,

really positive at the moment. Yeah. I find when, I'm in

creative flow, which I am at the moment, and for I suppose we can talk

about this, and that's the reason that, we're creating a a charity, a

foundation called the play fee the play free

foundation, which is really exciting. We'll talk more

about that, but we're teaming up with free agency. So Dicco and, Tim at

free agency teachers to essentially offer children

of all ages, the opportunities to play. Workshops,

resources, what they need. Sports equipment. Yeah. Yeah. Things that they

can they may not be able to get. You know? And I think that's really

exciting and, you know, we're we're excited to be able to do that and

deliver what we do to the ones that maybe can't afford it. Yeah. Because Yep.

Sport registration fees. Those are the things that we know a lot of family struggle

with. Yep. Equipment in schools, experiences,

all that kind of stuff. We just wanna be able to give those

young people the experience that everyone deserves. Yeah. Correct. And and level out the playing

field. Yeah. And our little bit that obviously will donate percentage of,

our revenue and, our time and and I know free agency doing that as well.

We've got who got a charity golf day locked in coming up to launch, and

we've got a few corporate sponsors coming on board as well. So that's really exciting.

And and through that to get back to your thing Yep. I'm in the process

of obviously, yeah, segue in. I'm in the process of

doing, like, all the design element and the copy and, sort of

making the bespoke, new website, which I love

doing. Like, I so for me, that's consuming. I get really excited

doing it. Yeah. Particularly when you work with, like, really talented designers. And

we're we're very fortunate to have one that, you know, each day they

send you something, and it made it just makes me excited. Yeah. And it's a

cool little thing I've started. I I heard that about,

oh, probably a bit about a week and a half ago now when I heard

that thought, you're 60, 70 thousand. And I was like, right. What's a balance like?

And every day now since I've heard it, I I check myself and I have

a little check-in and I do it at night. I do it in the morning

a little check-in. I'm like, right. What's your balance like between stress about the

future, you know, money, health, finances, kids, whatever it might be work,

which flows through everyone's minds. It's inevitable. To,

you know, they're all good stuff. You know, that was awesome hearing my kids giggles

or they've got this happen on the weekend or catch up the boys and we're

gonna go into Matilda's play, whatever it might be, you know, or business is going

well or did a good run, all those things. And I'm just really making sure

I'm checking on myself and making sure that balance is is happy and

healthy. And it's a really simple thing to do. And I'm finding it really powerful,

to be honest with you. Yeah. I'm finding it really powerful. But, so if you're

listening, check-in right now and go right today, as I'm listening to this, don't care

what time it is. What's my balance like at the moment? How many positive thoughts

have I had? And in those positive thoughts, I want I want people to sort

of go, how many positive thoughts have you had about yourself with you

being proud of yourself? Oh, I'd say not many. Your time. That'd be that'd be

the not many one. Right? And that's the one we've gotta increase. Yep. Is the

time we actually pat ourselves in the back. And no one needs to know you're

doing it. Pat yourselves in the back and go, yep. Proud of you doing that

or that went really well. You're doing a good effort there. They're the ones that

I reckon some people listening might go, shit. I don't think I've given

any of those thoughts today. Well, they probably haven't if you're not aware of it.

Yeah. Yeah. I'd say that. For me personally, I know I get a lot

of good thoughts and I'm up and about when I am in flow. Like I've

got something really creative to do. When you've got a purpose and a drive Yeah.

Whereas when I'm when I'm just doing things that I've

done for a while and don't require a lot of creativity Yep. That's

when maybe not. Yeah. Gotcha. Love those day to day checklist things that you step

in. Like like yeah. Just things that sort of come easy to you

now. Yep. Like, you've done one. That's why I always try to reinvent

or change the way you do things. I don't do that for anyone else. I'll

do that for me because I know then that I'm in a better head space

Yep. And I flow better and everything like that. So that would be my thing

for people is always have something that, you know, you feel proud of that you're

doing because then it really radiance through all other aspects of your

life. Yeah. I love it. We we've got a couple of

podcasts recorded. We've got one obviously coming out, next week with with with

Mick from the Journey Power, which was a beautiful conversation. You're gonna love it. It's

for everyone listening, next week's episode is it gets a bit deep at

times, but, there's some learning out there. There's so many tangible things that people can

put into practice and learn from. It was a really beautiful conversation. But one thing

that struck me when we're talking to him was early on,

like he's he said he used to get his mum to write notes for him

to get out of swimming because he was worried about his body image and those

sorts of things. And it's crazy because literally in my book, my podcast, the

note journal that got here before that pod even happened, I got a quote that

I wanted to talk to you about and it came across my ears. It was,

comparison is the thief of joy. Oh, yes, it is. I know.

I lose social media. Yeah. A %. A %.

And it just blows my mind that how many people really still struggle. Even adults,

kids can really struggle with comparing themselves to Well, with that,

I'm like, there's a question about knowing it's like you bought some really cool shoes.

Yeah. And you said, like, that you wouldn't have bought

these before staying work with me, but because I'm a bit out there and

loud, you said it's sort of like giving you permission to do that. Yeah. And

now I'm having a heap of fun wearing them. Yeah. Like I'm actually Why? Why

did it like, why did you need that? I don't know. That's bloody true. You

know what? Before I jumped in with you in little mister loud socks

and shoes, you know, which is awesome. Right? And every workshop we go to, kids

go, hi, man. I love your socks or I love your shoes. Yeah. Dopamine dressing,

they call it. Yeah. Dopamine is it what's it called? Someone said it one day.

Dopamine dressing. She goes, oh, they're dopamine dressing socks. Thank you. That's bloody

brilliant. And, actually, it works because, you're right. And then

it's funny because my first pair of runners that I bought to rosentin, I thought

were a little bit and and then not at all. Right? They're like, they're not

at all. Not judging. No. Let's not run it. Get any flight

on it. Piss off, idiot. But then they're the the

latest knives I've just purchased. You know, got pink on

them, got some splatters of paint over and got different colors.

And it's funny, I wore them I wore them yesterday and you were like, man,

nice wheels. I like and and I felt I felt bloody good wearing them. Yeah.

Good. And I felt as though they, yeah, gave me a little bit of spunk

and a little bit of yeah. I don't know. It threw my tires. It was

a dopamine one. My voice is going, too much presenting. And,

and my son Parker, I had him on last night. And I go, hey, mate.

Do you like my wheels? Do you like my new wheels? And he turns and

he goes, oh, they're sick. He goes, he goes, they look like Dale

shoes. I was like, oh,

there you go. Compliment. Thanks, Parker. I know you don't probably listen, Parker, but thank

you. But isn't it funny that you're right? So even I was Well, that's when

you were just talking about that. I said, well, you just did the exact same

thing yesterday. Thing that I was worried about, yeah, people's,

yeah, not thoughts and opinions, but I guess I was. But I always

just dress pretty yeah. I don't know. Reserved, I guess,

and normal in in fashion. Yeah. Even like,

look, today, I even say, like, we went we went shopping today, and, I bought

some tops and stuff and shit that I wouldn't have bought before many, and now

I can't wait to wear them. So it's, yeah. So thank you for unlocking my

Tokyo dress. List is is now a lot of the clothes you bought

that already had. Ah, but he's just he's just got good sense of clothes. It's

awesome. But Sorry. I know that you're talking. I'll bring him back

to you. I'll bring him back, but comparison is the thief of joy. Yeah. I

agree. And I was not comparing against other, but, yeah, I'd wanna I I

dressed in fashion. Right? What what I deemed to be a normal fashion then. And,

and at the time, I didn't think it sucked any joy out of me. And

now I started wearing some slightly some louder socks and some louder shoes and some

other things. And I enjoy putting them on. And I enjoy people going like I

bought a pair of green knocks the other day. And, one of

the guys in the footy was like, man, dig in your shoes. They're sick. And

I wouldn't have bought them a year ago. And just that little hip, dope, dope,

hang on. Yeah. They are fun to wear. You know what I mean? They're fun

to express yourself in that sense. But, yeah. So

comparison is the thief of joy. Social

media is killing it, so it's killing joy left, right, and center, but just

our own minds are killing it. Well, it's the stories we

tell ourselves that we think we that's what we should do because

then we say this is what other people will do. None of this even

happens. It's just the narratives of the, you know, the 60,000 thoughts a day

that we tell ourselves. Yep. And the stories we spin up, then we start to

believe them. Then, like, it just always seem none of that can happen though when

you're present. So if you are truly present,

which a lot of people never are, you're gonna play out more

thoughts, more stories, more comparisons, more negative things

because your mind never stops. Yeah. And if you don't allow it to stop, when

you if you just start scrolling or you are never ever

in a spot that is just clarity. Yeah. There's clear between your ears. Yeah.

And when you're comparing yourself to others, you never truly love the person you're seeing.

Never. You never are. No. And that's and that's what we always preach when we

wanna get back to you. But, that's gonna be one of the hardest things to

achieve, Eric. And it's to truly just look in the mirror and go, man, I

love everything about you. Yeah. And you never I don't think anyone Never will?

No. I I don't think anyone ever will, but and that's fine.

Everyone's got flaws and you can have those. Not a problem, but it's

also really important to know what you're good at and what you do love about

yourself. You have to love everything. It's like there's no such thing as perfect. Yeah.

You know? So, yeah, I just think it's important that you can still identify

the things that you do love about yourself. Yes. There will be always be things

that may not be great or could get better, but I think that's good to

know, but it's also good to know what bang. I'm crushing it here. I'm so

good at that. Yeah. I love it. I was having a chat.

I often bring things up to happen in my own life, and I was talking

to the kids the other day and, I made a comment. So an impactful and

thought provoking saying, and I made a comment, you've got to be cruel to be

kind. Right. And I'm out of this is like, What do you mean?

And it can and I stopped myself when as a seven year old hearing that

comment, you've got to be cruel to be kind. I can understand how that

would be very confusing to someone. You've got to be cruel to be kind, right?

And I sat there and tried to explain it to him and eventually got it.

But, since that, it's just

amazing how scared we are

to say things to people that may not hit well or

you think it's not the right way to go about it, but, motives are right,

our hearts in the right position, we're in the right place. And we're better off

saying it than not, right, because you gotta be quality. We kind of most of

the time it's things you say to people or whatever it might be and and

teach them. But, and another one that you've been working on

lately that's also now fallen to my life is let them Yeah. No.

Ronn's. Yeah. So you didn't notice it's coming in. Thank you, Brie, for buying me

the book. Yeah. You did. I mean, when she bought it, she goes, I think

this will be good for you. And I'm like, well, I think it will be

too. And it is. Yeah. I could just change you massively. You

reckon? Yeah. I'm a lot and now it's bloody rather good for me. I'm a

lot calmer. Yeah. And tick I'll be honest. I'm a lot calmer at home. Yeah.

And that's where I was really letting myself down. Yeah. So

now I just yep. It's fine. What's what's the premise behind it? What's

the premise behind the let them Oh, let's put obviously, if you've heard of

Mel Robbins, I think she started with the five second rule. Very basic

stuff, but she also, in this let them it's all backed by

science, and she spoke to a lot of people as well. But, essentially, just let

other people do what they want. A lot of time, you can't control it.

The only thing that, really consumes you is

when you consume, obviously, what they're doing and that

it takes it it infects you, not them. Yeah. And so by

saying let them, it allows you to just let them do

it. Right? And then you move on. You don't control that. You can't control them

anyway. They're probably gonna do it anyway, either way what you say, but then it's

about how you react to that. Yeah. Because that's where your energy

goes and your focus. And normally, that's a negative. Yeah.

You're right. You're right. You're the only one who's carrying it. I know. I know.

They've got the person who's pissed you off has got no idea that you're actually

you're carrying it because it's so internal for you. Yep. And they just go about

their day to day business like nothing ever happened. And yet here you are

riled up or frustrated or angry or whatever or resentment or whatever money is,

but that's your person who made you feel that way. He's got no idea that

you feel that way. They've got no idea. And so you're just allowing yourself to

be like that and it's affecting you, your relationships, and your energy

and how you treat people. And that's for me, that's what was happening between five

and seven at night. Yeah. I was blowing up nearly every night. Yeah.

But now you brought it into we started off with just with family, the kids.

Right? But now you brought into all aspects of your life and now it's filtered

into my and all aspects of my life too and it bloody helps. Yeah. It

doesn't. Like, I just don't Like, we work front and make front. We're doing my

thing. It was like when we're driving today and that car was right up my

ass. That's right. Oh. She was waving her hands after me. Honking

her horn. And so I was like, let them. And I slowed down

from 60 to 40. A little bit more? And I was

trying to let them know that. To get my laughing in the mirror and I

get so angry and I was like, oh. And how was it in the end

this person who did not control the emotions very well and didn't let them drive

at the speed limit, sped passes in the wrong lane

and they're going the wrong way and beat yawns and angry. Angry as And that

was she'll sit with that for the rest of the day. I know. It totally

affected her day and I would have done 60 if she didn't sit up my

ass. But she and she was only behind us for 500 meters. Oh,

man. And then she turned off, it wasn't fair at all, was it? It was

crazy. It's a perfect example, and I think driving is one of the big ones

that, like, you get there, you know. People are Road

rage. Just chill out, people. Relax. You might get there three minutes. So maybe

one minute or the funny thing was I looked at my wife when she's beeping

and cracking her sheets. I looked at her watch, right, I looked at her watch

and it was it was three to nine. I'm like She's late. I'm like, she's

gonna start work at nine. She's late for work. She's up early. I love it.

It's on you, not on anyone else. But anyway, so

my perfect example is I'm a lot more I'm at high

I'm an intense person Yeah. As you know very well. Yeah. I'm I'm

less intense now Mhmm. Because I'm a bit low so much more relaxed. Yeah. I

can't control what other people do. I can't control how people act. I

can only control what I do. And by letting people, then it

allows me to be what I wanna be. I control that

narrative, not that other one. Yeah. But too often, I was too consumed on that

other one and thinking about how it affect me Yeah. And it would affect everything

else. So, yeah, I'd I'd sort of take that approach now and and I just

sort of sit back a bit more. It's awesome, man. You're linking that in what

I've seen. You're linking that in with the, you know, never speak on emotion. Yeah.

And when you were getting that Oh, man. That's bad. Bad. You know? Yeah. But

not burn a lot of bridges. But now not now you're like, you can you

Yep. Yep. Send to yourself. You think let them you know what I mean? And

you don't speak on emotion and those sorts of things, and it's it's really powerful

and and it's just intentional with it for a week or two. That's

what I found. I was intentional for a week or two with let them things

or just know speak an emotion, and then you've got it. Yeah. Not just I

it's just I'm just calmer. Yeah. Which I think

everybody wants to be a little bit calmer. Like So next time you get pissed

off, everyone, next time you're pissed off with something or just something frustrating, just let

them. Yeah. Just say to your mind, though. I reckon the best time to practice

it would be driving. Because who everyone gets angry in the

car. Yeah. Well, most shouldn't say everyone. A lot of people do. And

or people will cut you off or something will happen. You can't control it.

You won't get there any faster. Yep. You know what I mean? Let people in.

Be kind. Well, it's funny what happens when you do.

Yeah. Because it you can't control anything else. So Bloody love that. Well,

thank you. That's right. Yeah. I've I've noticed you're very well. It's bloody brilliant. It's

bloody brilliant. Nice little compliment. Take that. Someone asked me the other day

in a workshop, how do I get unstuck? You were in the f t, so

I was out doing a workshop. They're like, how do you get unstuck? And I

was like, how do I get unstuck? I go, what do you mean? And he

goes, well, I and it was it was a a boy, young boy, teenager. And

he's like, well, sometimes I just feel stuck. Yeah. Sometimes I feel I don't have

any mojo. I can't be bothered. I don't wanna do things. I

don't know. I just I lose a bit of mojo and and he goes, I'm

worried that, that's gonna lead to further mental health problems,

you know, because obviously you talk about mental health in our workshops and those sorts

of things. And you go, so how do I get myself unstuck quickly? And I

was like, shit, that's a good question again, ain't it? And for me and I'll

let you think about it because I'm gonna ask you how you think you get

in these eyes or see dad's eyes look at the roof now. She's getting thinking.

No. I'm trying to listen to you. Yes. No. I like it. And, and I

was like, for me, I've never really thought about that. I'll be honest with

you. I don't know. I'd go

perspective maybe. Like throw

if you were gonna throw all the world's problems

into a massive pile and you threw yours in there,

would you wanna take a random problem back out or would you wanna would you

happily take your problem back out? Because I'm tipping yours and knowing near as worse

as what everyone else is. Oh, yeah. And that's a way of thinking about it.

Right? So I was like, perspective maybe. Is that how I do it? But then

you don't wanna undervalue somebody like your own,

you know, that comparison game. Yeah. Yeah. It's a tricky one, isn't it?

I would Yeah. I would probably step away from it and do something that I

know makes me feel good. Yep. Because then normally that

realigns whatever it might not have been that bad or,

you know, do things like listen to music, detach from

social media or your phone Yeah. Go for activity sport, go

outside, just do things that make you happy that are good for you.

Just five, ten, fifteen minutes to get a break out. Never mind. I think that

is the ultimate way to do it. Yeah. Because then you allow space from

whatever you're stuck with. Yeah. And normally things just sorta answer

themselves. Yeah. Because then I started going down lines when I because I was on

on the spot in the workshop and I was it was a tricky question. It

is. And I was there and I was like, I don't know. Maybe for young

people, it might be a quick little goal. Like you can potentially go, right. I'm

feeling a bit stuck or whatever it might be. Right. What's one

little thing I wanna achieve today or tomorrow. And what's something I need to do

as a hurdle task to get to that achievable goal and just focus on that

little hurdle task first. Yep. And just set that as a really small achievable one.

And that's the sort of answer I came back with. And I also said then

followed up and said, mate, stop what you're doing. You know what I mean? Go

go for a run, do something, ride your bike, do something creative,

whatever it might be. But, yeah, I wrote I've made a little note on my

phone after that one going, that's actually that that stumped me a little bit on

the spot. Normally, I'm a really quick thinker. And, yeah, I was like, how

do I get unstuck? I don't know what that means. I don't get stuck too

often, but we all do. But, yeah, I don't know. That was an interesting one.

Good question. I think you answered it well. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. I

love it. Ladies and gentlemen, it is very, very nice to be back

in the bunker, back in the, the studio with Dale. We've got a brilliant

episode next week coming up with, with Mike from Journal of Pat from

Journey Apparel. Yep. So make sure you tune to that one. And preorder our book,

everyone. Preorder the book. Sixty five days of play, ultimate gift for family,

friends, anybody. Good way to, get a discounted Christmas present

already as well if people are gonna be in a lab. Gonna be a perfect

book to stick on the coffee table or on the kitchen bench, and I just

have sitting there with you and it's not just play. Don't get me wrong. It's

not just three hundred sixty five days of just play activities. 365

stories in there. There's 365 stories in there. Quick little two or three minute reads

every day is a three minute read, and some really interesting

stories about famous people, the organizations, all sorts of things,

countries Everything. Events. Yeah. And it's actually a really

cool little lesson, for you, the reader, but definitely for your kids with

you, the reader too. And I'm hoping that when you pick it up, you and

the kids are, oh, I wonder what today's story is gonna be about for three

or four minutes and then what the play activity is gonna be that's linked to

that story. So yeah. So it's a bit of a double edged sword, and,

obviously, the play for Lashanaut is coming out the same time as well. So please,

yeah, show some support, show some love. It's an awesome resource for families out there.

Enjoy your week, everyone. Good to be back, and we'll, get all

hear from us next week.