Welcome to the energetic radio podcast. This episode is brought to you by the

SchoolOfPlay, co hosted by Dale Sidebottom and Paul

Campbell. Each week we'll bring to you tips, strategies and ideas on

how you can bring more joy and happiness into your life and those you share

it with. Alrighty, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. This

is episode number 367. My name's Dale

Silbon. I'm joined by the one only, Paul Mad Dog Campbell. How are you, mate?

The Mad Dog Campbell. How are you, buddy? Good, mate, good. Now, we haven't

done a podcast for a while. We've been extremely busy. This is the first time

we've ever recorded one on a Saturday. That's not cool. It's not cool.

But we've been that busy with coming up and we've missed

it and we wanted to get one out there. I know, because we do like

to practice what we preach, right. And have good balance and everything else and you

know, every time we're in a workshop where I find balance don't just work

all the time. And here we are on a Saturday in the bunker trying to

squeeze in a podcast just because we've got people asking for them.

We're feeling the pressure a little bit of not having released one for a little

while and so, you know, mate, it's always good to catch up anyway, so. It

is, it's no stress at all. Now my first thing off the bat, mate,

the books stoked. 365 days of play. The playful

astronauts are going gangbusters. It is unbelievable. Thing I

love most about it, mate, I'll be honest, is getting people that you know like

or you don't know that well saying how impactful, particularly the

365 days of play. It's really nice. Yeah,

my, my 95 year old pop and my auntie,

they do it every day and it's keeping them young, it's

allowing them, you know, that development, their cognitive development

to keep them young, to keep them doing things and connecting. And for

me that was, you know, obviously we designed it for families but it's incredible to

see what it's doing, mate, it's epic. And I've got a similar story. One of

our good friends Kel, her mum, and they're doing it together with her and her

mum and her mum said that to me, she was passed basketball the other night

and she goes, I'm doing it every day and I love it because it's making

me think I'm using my brain for different things. I was Writing a poem the

other day, and I was doing this and I was doing that and song lyrics.

And it's really cool that all walks of life and

all ages are really benefiting from it, because then you've got, like, my

kids. Hunter picks it up every single morning before. Before as breakfast is being

made every single morning. And it's awesome to see. Yeah. Just

the age range that's impacting. And then you get complete random people

through Instagram, whatever it might be, that tag you in something that you don't know

them, and they just tag you in it because they know you wrote the book.

And it's videos of them connecting as a family, laughing and having a good time.

And I don't know where they live, but it's. It's unreal. And, yeah, it's amazing.

Super cool. I absolutely love it. Super cool. And also for people out there, all

the schools that have been putting in bulk orders for the playful

astronauts and 365 days of play, which is really cool.

And not only that, the curriculum that we've built around the

playful astronauts, that's really cool. Now that schools are trialing that and

testing it out, relates back to the book. And then it's got, obviously, our learning.

So it's funny when you create something, what happens? So if anyone's out there

and has got a dream or has got an idea, just do it. Just do

it. You never. Just started. Yeah. And once you get the ball rolling like it

was naturally. It was a daunting task at first. Right. Do you want to write

a book? Shit, I've never written a book in my life before. You know what

I mean? And. And it was daunting. I was like, have we got time to

do that? We've got so much other things on the pipeworks. Obviously, our

purpose behind writing it was just because a lot of schools were asking us, how

do we support families? And we're all right, let's. Let's put what we do into

a book and so we can get over the school fence and support families. But

once we started the project, it was. It was actually really fun. And

it was fun to put our minds to it and dig into it. And, you

know, the pride came, and as it started to take shape, you really sort of

fell in love with it. And then it wasn't a chore anymore, and then it

wasn't freaking out, and it became an awesome project. So did start it.

You're right. Because once you get going, I think it'll captivate in anything. Like, any

as you said, any project you've been putting off, whatever it might be, a thought

you've had, a dream you've had. Just start the planning process

and see if it captivates you. And I probably. If, like, if you start the

planning process and it doesn't captivate you and you're in it a couple of

weeks in and it's a chore, then it's not the right one. Yeah, correct. Then

bugger it off. But it wasn't with us, right? We started doing it and we're

like, man, this is. This is actually really good. Yeah. And don't do it. Thinking

to make money. That's. Now, I was on a podcast, pizza and PE

podcast. It really is. And unfortunately it was

8am for me. They're having a beer and pizza and I just had my smash

tab on a coffee. But yeah, they asked, like,

if you always wanted to be an entrepreneur. And I, I said no. It just

sort of. I started doing things I was passionate about because I enjoyed it and

I think that's great advice. Like, if you want to do something, do it. Don't

do it for a reason, to make money. The moment you do that, it becomes

a job and the passion's gone. External motivation, no good.

It's got to be internal motivation. It's got to be that intrinsic motivation that gets

you fired up and that gives, you know, puts a spring in your step. That's

what's going to drive it and make it enjoyable. 100. And then whatever comes from,

it comes from. So if you're doing it for external motivation because someone said you

should do it, or because you think you're going to make money from it. No,

no, no. It's got to be intrinsic motivation. 100 now, mate,

I know you've always got things. I've obviously got back from America.

Last week, I was very fortunate to be the headline speaker at the

PE National Institute in North Carolina, Asheville. I

didn't realize how far away it was. Cambo. Three flights. I

had to get 36 hours door to door. But

it was incredible. One, one thing for me is I was. It was a long

way to go. Yeah. And it was so nice. So. Because for so many years

I've built relationships with people over Twitter and that's what I used to use when

I started out. And to go there and have so many people that were either

at the conference that would go each year or come to meet me and you

feel like you know them straight away, it was really incredible. So, yeah, I was

a Little bit anxious about going there, but I'm so glad I did.

It was an amazing experience, met so many cool people

and more importantly, it was just really nice to tick off the States. Do you

know what I mean? I haven't spoken over there before, so it was really cool.

So story behind it is of. Put yourself out there,

do you mean? And if you're listening to this and sometimes it's easy in the

house to stay at home or if someone asks you to catch up or do

something a little bit, you know that it's, it is hard, takes

effort. You have to put yourself out there, you have to do something different.

It is very rewarding though. And I mean, I mean flying in

a tin can for 38 hours is effort.

You're in there for 30 odd hours, you're on the ground for about 72 hours.

It's insane when you put it all together, isn't it? Well, one of my

thoughts is delayed. So actually after flying for like nearly two days, I got

in at 1am, I had two and a half hours sleep, I had to get

up and go and keynote, open the conference. Oh, you do

your best work. Fast forward. I got

delayed a couple of days in San Frano, got back and this has never happened

to me, mate, we're Sydney last Friday on stage and I literally

couldn't talk. No, your brain, your brain was mush, wasn't it?

It's not very often that he, the big fella gives me a week and goes

away. Enough about that. But if there's something you want to do, do it,

put yourself out there because magical things happen. But also, as you're

saying before, I want to link back to. Obviously traveling to the States is an

extreme one, but we were having a chat the other night about how important it

is to make the effort to connect with your mates. And as you get

older it gets harder because you have kids and everything else and you get very

few precious hours where you've got

nothing on the calendar, especially when you have kids and generally you just

want to chill on the couch, as you said before. But you've got to

be intentional with it and bloody put the effort in and go, you know, yes,

I can't be stuffed, yeah, But I know once I get there and I have

a beer or just have a bar, whatever it might be, and I'm just chatting

with that mate who I've missed for a little while, I'll walk away from it

feeling so much bloody better. But it's just that motivation to get there in the

first place and get out of the house and. And you don't have to do

it very often. I reckon you do it once or twice and it fills the

cup for a while. So your

notion to go in the States is an extreme example. But it was

awesome. Right. Because you were arming and arring for a long time when that gig

came up a little bit. Yeah. And now it's so glad to hear

that you took the opportunity and you made the effort to go because you come

back, you know, beaming. Although you were knackered, but it was awesome. I was knackered,

but. And then the positive outcomes for the business are huge. All those bits and

pieces. So amazing how or just how many want to people in America

inquiring about our curriculum and things like that. So as far as that, it was

a really good experience, mate. But how have you been, buddy? I've been good.

Yeah. Yeah. It's the first time I've taken a breath before I answer that question.

It's been. You went to Port Douglas, Maine? Yeah. When I put that was. That

was awesome. And I'll give you the big tip. Everyone out there. This is going

to sound horrible. Never travel with just your immediate family. And that's it always

go. If you're traveling now, go with three or four families with their kids.

It just. I think that was our. We went with about four families and a

heap of kids and a. Your kids have such a good time

connecting with their mates and other kids and it makes it really memorable for them

and because they. They really bond and they strengthen their connections really well.

When you live in each other's pockets for a week and you're doing activities every

day but then the parents also we get. We got a lot of switch off

time because the kids have been in the pool at resort for five hours,

you know what I mean? And we can then just chill out, read a bit

of a book, have a cocktail, whatever it might be. And then when you go

and do your. Your things, you know, your attractions and your. And your. Your

holiday goal stuff, you know the croc farms and cane tone racing. Just having that

big crew there, you know when we hide the yacht and that kind of stuff

and still having the crew to do it together just made it so good. So

I don't know if I'm. Obviously there's always time to go away with just your

family but mate, going away with numerous families while your

kids are young, it was bloody unreal. And first time at Port Douglas, first time

snorkeling for me I'd never snorkeled in my life. What?

Yeah. 40 years old. Never snorkeled before. You've never

snorkeled? No. Well, I have now, but I didn't know I'd never snorkeled. Oh, my

God. I know, right? That's pretty crazy, isn't it? And I bloody loved it, like.

And it took me. I'll be honest, it took me a little, like,

about five minutes to get comfortable. Not comfortable with it, but just breathing through the

snorkel and just, you know, breathe underwater like that, because I've never done it. Have

you scuba dived? No. Oh, I haven't done it either, no. God, no. Wow. Scuba

diving freaks me out a little bit, to be honest. Oh, it's pretty cool once

you go down a bit. I've got asthma, so you can only go down so

far. Okay. But yeah, once you get that, mate,

it's pretty cool. It would be. I don't know. Now I've seen, you know, reef

and. And cruise line. We saw a massive sea turtle. We saw reef sharks.

We saw schools of these massive blue fish. It was awesome.

40 years old. 40 years old. First time I snuggled. But I

made a memory. I know, it's great. We talk about our workshops all the

time. Pretty much every workshop. What's a memory you never want to let go of?

I created one I don't have to think about anymore. Parker, 5 years old,

first time snorkeling with him, he was a bit nervous. We held hands.

Were you nervous or was he nervous? We were both nervous. So we held each

other's hands and just went out snorkeling. And we saw some awesome

things. The hand gestures, you know, under the water and. Oh, man,

it was. It was a memory. I never want to let go of that one.

It was unreal. Well done for getting a bit adventurous. I know.

Ghost, Norgaly, and then, mate, Cane toad racing. That's elite.

Have you ever seen cane toad racing? Mate, I've been up there on his face.

You're 40 years old. You've never seen cane toad racing? Seen you hit it with

a golf club. That's not right. No,

they're like a rodent. Yeah, well, I kiss one of them, but yeah, the.

Mate, that's the most. Rex hunt. Yeah,

that's what I mean. You're not Rexan. It's one of the most

Australian things I've ever been to. Yeah. Oh, no doubt, mate. It was

awesome. If ever you're up, up north, go and see some cane toad racing. You

can bet on them. Yeah, yeah, it's. It's a heap of fun.

Croc farm. That was epic too. It's the closest we've been to a. To a

real life crocodile as well. Yeah, they're impressive creatures. The snap of

their jaws. Hang on. Holiday was awesome, thanks for asking. And much needed because

we were burn the candle at both ends and then we've come back and burnt

the candle at both ends. So it's nice to sit here. I've. The smile on

my face is massive. As we talk about this. Because you're reflecting, right? I'd love

a holiday if it was one going. You just went to America,

mate. My wife Bray shout out, just

in Bali at the moment for a week. She's on a girls trip. Yes. Hey,

good, honest. She'll come back. A bit of version of herself. No. So what have

we got today, mate? 367.

367. Haven't got a wicked stat for that one, unfortunately. Haven't had the

time to find a stat. But I did come across a quote that I fell

in love with about a week or two ago and I

think it's so simple and I bloody love it. The quote is this. What you

avoid controls you. What

do you make of that? Before I get into it, what you avoid controls you.

Well, if it's on your mind, then it consumes you. Yeah, yeah, well

done. So that's why, like just doing something straight

away, like when your alarm goes, get out of bed, go and drink some

water. Like don't procrastinate because then you start controlling your

mind and start talking negatively to yourself. Yeah, you're spot on. That's that what

I want to go down, like, you know, avoidance, it feels like

relief in the short term. I don't want to get a bed, I'm comfy. I

don't want to go for that morning run or I want to have a week

off off drinking, whatever it might be, you know, I mean, I'm going to start

exercising. But when you avoid it, it feels

comfortable and warm because you don't have to do it. Like I'll do it tomorrow,

you know, I mean, and it feels safe, but every time you dodge it,

you literally, like, you feed your shame and

you feed your fear and you feed your guilt and your resentment.

So yeah, what you avoid controls you. And just that one line grabbed me when

I was listening to Father. I was like, oh man, that's so bloody similar thinking

about, isn't it? So anytime you want to grow, you want to Have a sense

of pride in yourself. You want to have success, you want to heal.

All of that requires you to lean into the discomfort. All of

it. Well, it's exactly like what I spoke about at the start. Doing something

and putting yourself out there. You actually get the benefits from it. It's exactly the

same as that. Yeah. It's easier not to do something.

Yes. It's easier just to be comfortable. Yeah. But that's. You keep

putting it off, you keep avoiding it. Yeah. Then it just controls your mind. Little

things become hard. Yeah. Yeah. And then the

longer you leave it, the harder it is. And then harder things become. Yeah, I

gotcha. I want to talk about pressure,

especially internal pressure. You've been very supportive.

So we, we created a new program for executive

leaders a little while ago. We do a lot of work with student leaders, but

we start a new program for executive leaders. So working with like principled leaders,

middle leaders, you know, businesses, organizations,

corporates, that kind of world. And it's funny, like we know

leadership inside out and we've had a heap of my time. And I love it,

you know that I live and breathe it. You do. But then

the. Once they started getting booked in, the pressure I

was placing on myself to get it right

and to nail it and to do it really well was starting to get a

little bit. Not overwhelming, but it was like I was nervous. Right. Like you were.

Yeah, I was really nervous. I don't get. I'm never saying you look at slides

or putting much time into, which is good. Yeah. But I could tell that's because

you're second guessing yourself. Yeah, I was a little bit. And I had the pressure

on myself to go, this is going to be. This has got to be awesome.

You know, I mean, their pain is a good slab of coin. I know I've

got the knowledge in my brain. I know I've got the ability to engage people

and make it a kick ass workshop. But I think just the fact that I

was going up against, not up against, but working alongside with that level

of leaders. Yeah. I had a lot of internal pressure myself. And then you

really helped me to flip the script. And I think a lot of people can

help learn from this is just. It's okay to have high expectations. It's

actually really healthy to have high expectations. It's good. You want to have high expectations

because then it means something. You put the work and effort in, but don't put

the pressure on yourself to be perfect and get it right

and flip the script the other way. And that's what you said to me, and

that's what I want to share with people, is just be bloody proud of

yourself that you're giving it a go, that you put yourself in that position in

the first place and you're only going to grow from it. You'll nail the first

one and if it doesn't go well, you'll learn from it. And I needed that

at the time. I was like, yeah, just don't bloody stop being so. Yeah. The

pressure on myself I was putting on was huge and it was consuming.

I wasn't avoiding it because it was coming up, the date was booked in. Yeah.

But, yeah, man, I was thinking about it. Every time I wake up, I'd start

writing notes, my phone, at like 4:00am, five in the morning. I think it's something

I want to say and I don't want to forget that. And that was a

ruin of my sleep. And I was like, jesus, yeah, that's good, though. It's good

to think like that. But I think that's like with anything you do in life,

if there's a new opportunity or a new job offer or you've got something

you haven't done before, then it is hard, like.

And if you think about it, it means a lot to you. But then you've

also got to be. Go easy on yourself too. And no one. There's no such

thing as perfect. Yeah. And that's the thing. We put all this emphasis on

how we think it should come across. And if we don't do it perfectly,

nobody else knows. They might have known a couple of weeks ago in Sydney when

I couldn't talk because I couldn't say words. But do you mean, like, you. Like

you're up there? There's a reason that these corporations

ask you to do that, because they believe in you. And sometimes

it's easy for other people to believe in yourselves. The hardest one is for us

to believe in ourselves. But that's why, you know, a lot of the work we

do. Talking about gratitude's brilliant for other people, but that doesn't

mean anything until you can look in the mirror and say, you're proud of yourself,

you admire this or you love that person. And it's exactly the same when

you get those opportunities. If someone else thinks you're good enough, then

you bloody are. You know what I mean? But we doubt it. We think, no.

And then we think about all the things that we may not be good enough

or what we might get wrong instead of like, no, I'm going to crush and

get this right. Yep. But that's just human nature. It is, isn't it?

And it's so funny, man. We teach it all day, every day. And then when

you've got to be the one actually steps up and goes, man, even if it

fails, you're going to learn from it, you know, and those sort of things. And,

and it was a really. Yeah. Rewarding moment when

the first one was done and. And it went incredibly well. Yeah. And I was

like, fuck, yeah. You know what I mean? And. And yeah, there's not the sense

of relief but the sense of pride, I think it was. But yeah, I don't

know. So linking back to other people, just. If you have got something coming up

or you want to do something, don't put that internal pressure on yourself. Flip the

script. And it doesn't need to be perfect. And just think about how

proud you are of yourself for putting yourself out there and leaning into the uncomfortable

and stretching yourself and trying something new and growing in that

sense. Because when you give it a go, even if it doesn't go incredibly well,

you'll still be really proud of yourself and you'll learn from it and you'll

get better at the next time. But yeah, don't let that internal pressure,

like, it's funny, I could never have walked away from it, never would have. But

there's some. Two fleeting moments where I'm sitting there going, should I want to do

this? I don't know if. I don't know if I want to go through this.

But of course, yeah, but no, it was awesome. But yeah, that internal

pressure, and I'm seeing it now in my, in my 7 year old, even with

his sport and especially his schoolwork, he puts a lot of internal pressure on himself

to be perfect. And it's human nature. Right? So I think we've got

to keep reminding ourselves. Ease up, ease up. Just get it

done. Yeah. Had another thing shared with me by

a beautiful friend of mine. Ace has actually been on the podcast a fair bit

a few times and he loves us, but he shared something. With us he

shared with me last night. I did share it with you last night and I

just really want to share it the world out there because I've, It's. I can't

get out of my head now. So it's actually from the Father's Guild and it's.

He asked a question to an older, older man and he said, what?

Who are you most jealous of? And I was like, oh,

I'm looking forward to this response. And his response was so bloody simple and beautiful,

and he simply said, I'm jealous of all the parents out there who have still

got little kids at home. Oh, man, I needed to hear

that in the moment. And I think you needed to hear it too, because, you

know, I mean, because we. It. It can be so

relentless and frustrating and getting out the door on time and the

little things that you sweat and brush your teeth properly, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Eat your dinner. Don't take an hour to eat your dinner. And oh, and when

that old dude said that, when he said, I'm so jealous of anyone who's still

got little kids at home because it gives you a sense of purpose and it

gives you some fulfillment. And hearing their laughter and the giggles and

once they're gone and they've flown the coop, trust me, the house is too quiet

and you miss every single little bit of those things.

And it's completely changed. It hasn't completely changed my mindset because it's always been pretty

good, but it's definitely helped me, I guess, recenter myself and go,

man, just let them frustrate you. And love the fact they're frustrating you.

I don't know. But they're there. They're there. Yeah, I've been hearing that,

man. As I said, I'm flying solo for a week. And,

yeah, I think. Not that I wasn't making the most of all the time and

things we could do, but I think you're more aware of that. You just want

to have memories and you want to get them out. You want to do things

or you want to do things that you just all present together.

And as I said, I've been building Lego every night. We do an hour. Yeah.

And building, like this structured play. I love it. Very structured play. Yeah. And

it's just an hour of time that

is really precious. Yeah. And I think the key with that is that you

got to be intentional. There's no screens, no devices. They're literally

wrecking lives. Like, they really are. And I know when, you

know, you have a big day, they have a big day at kinder or daycare

or whatever and come home. And I put it on because they need to have

a little bit of downtime. But if you do that all night, they're horrible. I

mean, they're zombies. They are like. Whereas they know now, bang, we turn it

off, Dad's here. Hour of lego. Completely different kids.

Yeah. And they use their. The thing is, mate, they're probably. Because you've been saying

they've been Falling asleep really well for you, right? They've been sleeping really well. It's

because. Not really going to sleep.

They're going to sleep easy. Let me finish that. No,

they don't. Well, one does anyway. No, sorry. Both

of my kids aren't starting to sleep at the moment. We're having both our kids

in our bed every bloody night at the moment. It's killing. You go through EVs

and flows, don't you? But the fact they're using their brain for that last hour

of awake time in being creative and laughing and sharing and

thinking and building, that's knackering them out. And they're falling asleep

without just staring at a blue screen, which is awesome.

I'm the same. Going back to that, you know that thing about, what are you

jealous of? And it's having little kids in the house. Our youngest, PJ

is notorious for being crap at going to sleep at night. This procrastinates and wants

to stay up and choose your ear off. And

you used to get a little bit frustrated with it and now just. I smile

and I go, hey, mate, do you want me to help you fall asleep? Yeah,

I give him a back massage now with a smile on face. Hey, do you

want me to give you a back massage in bed? Yes, please. And it's gone

from getting frustrated to, hey, mate, just to help you fall asleep. Get a back

massage. Yes, please. Massage him for 5, 7 minutes and he just nods off.

Thanks, Dada. And he's just gone. It's like, man, I've been approaching that

wrong the whole time. Yeah, but you're the one that's been doing. I was the

same. Yeah, yeah. The way we approach something like, yes, this is a chore.

Yes, exactly. Right. It's only a chore because we're making it. Yeah, yeah. I

think that's. Anything in life, like, if you think something's gonna be negative, it bloody

well is. If you think it's 100, no one else is

making a negative. That's the mindset and mentality that you bring to the situation.

Yeah. Instead of going, I'm getting an extra seven minutes of connection time with my

kid before he falls asleep by giving. Him seven now instead getting angry. And it

might have been half an hour. Yeah. And that's what was happening.

We'd get shirky with each other, Mel. And then the house get a bit shirky

and it'd be like that for a half hour, 45 minutes, whatever it is. But

yeah. Now if I just give him a five minute massage it completely zens

him out. And we now finish our last thing we say

each other is good night. Good night. Love you. Love you too. So it's a

positive? It is a positive. Yeah, it's awesome. And that's on you, not him. No.

Yeah. It's completely like in all these things, everything we've spoken about today

is on you as a listener, as an individual.

No one else controls anything that you do. The way you approach a situation,

the things you think or how you handle anything that is all on you

want it to be a negative, it will be a negative. If you think it's

detrimental, it will be. That's no one else's. No one else can

control that or change that. Yeah. And at the end of the day, we're the

40 year old adults, we're the ones who've got to control our emotions, not the

five year old. Hey, five year old. Control your emotions better. Would you have it,

my two year old, settle down. Oh, I love

it. But now just a few things that I've heard in the last couple of

weeks that have helped me refocus, get back on the

tracks. Make me a better dad, that's for sure. Make me a better leader at

home, which has been really nice to hear. So I just want to share those

things with our listeners. So hopefully it plants a bit of a seed in your

mind to go. Okay, I'm going to try that and rethink how I look at

things. But yeah, yeah, but it's good to be back in the bunker, it's good

to be recording, it's good to be sharing some nuggets of gold with everyone out

there. We're back off on some regional tours this week, back up north

in Victoria. And then what have we got? We've

got, you've got Bangkok this term and we're doing some other bits and pieces. So

yes, it's gonna be a hectic one. So listeners, we, we may struggle to get

ones out every week, so bear with us, we apologize. We love the fact that

you are hassling us and asking us to release another

episode which makes things, you know, we love that you love listening to us. But

yeah, bear with us. Be patient, please. That's why I wrote a book so you

can read that. Yeah. When we're not there, just read our book. That'd be awesome.

But yeah, look after each other. Ease up the pressure on yourself.

And remember, if you've got little tackers at home, love it. You're missing when

they're gone, so love it.